Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Greatest Serial Killer of all Time....

Operator: 911 What's your emergency?
Me: Someone is trying to kill me....
Operator: Ma'am, can you give me a description?
Me: Well, I am in an intense amount of pain. My head really hurts, and my skin burns?
Operator: Your skin burns?
Me: YES! I have this horrible rash across my face and chest and it hurts, I even coughed up blood because of what this murderer keeps trying to do to me.
Operator: Are you bleeding anywhere else?
Me: Well I have pains in my stomach and I can hardly breath. And these ulcers in my mouth are making it really hard to talk to you. And I'm so very tired, I can barely stay awake. It makes me so sick, I could just throw up. Can you please help me?
Operator: Ma'am can you give me a description of the perpetrator?
Me: I don't know what this killer looks like, my vision keeps changing. It's really difficult to give an accurate description. I just know that whenever this killer visits me, I am always left with this ill,uneasy feeling. This perp also pulls out my hair and chokes me until I can't swallow properly anymore.
Operator: Ma'am, I don't understand what you mean. You say someone is trying to kill you, you don't know what he or she looks like, yet you have all of these strange symptoms?
Me: YES!!!! It seems to have something against healthy females of a certain age. You have got to help me catch this serial killer!!!
Operator: Ma'am, okay, do you at least know this persons name?
Me: Yes, I do....
Operator: Well, what's the name?
Me: Well, it goes by multiple names, but one name scares me the most.
Operator: What is it?
Me:Systemic lupus erythematosus, nickname SLE. Can you help me, please?
Operator: **Disconnects line**

2 comments:

  1. This post gave me the chills. It reminded me of that poster about lupus that we saw in Manhattan. It had the sign that said something like "I know I don't look sick, but I feel sick. Could I have lupus?"
    While lupus is definitely a predatory, wrong medication and inadequate medical help are co-conspirators.
    You are one of the bravest people I have ever met and I will always be there to help you fight against this killer.

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  2. Damn you!!!!
    You just made me cry, lol....
    I love you so much bestie. Now I gotta go, I got snot on the laptop keys xoxoxo

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